Attachment, neediness, all that stuff that makes me feel desperate.  I work on this as hard as my homework.  The feeling of being totally comfortable with being alone.  Only needing the love of my lil ol self.  I feel this is totally possible, as opposed to what all you naysayers think.  I’d rather be a hooray-sayer.  New cool phrase?  Mabes.  

Anyway, this is something that I talk about a SHIT LOAD in my workshops.  It’s a big part of my personality even though there are still instances where I feel instantly desperate for a girl that I just met.  Stuff like that happens, but it can change.  Just like the ides of march change on a windy day.

Funny story… Last night I get this number of a really cute girl.  She’s a sweetheart.  Adorable.  So I text her later that night.  No reply.  Wuhhh?!  Dang.  Text her again that night and get, "You have the wrong number buddy."  No way, this chick gave me a fake number?   I woke up the next morning and remembered my night.  Three numbers, not bad for getting back into the bar scene after five straight months off of it.  I’ve been busy busting my ass for school lately, I want to graduate.

So anyway, I remember that the girl I was interested in most gave me a fake number.  I instantly felt this slight tightening in my chest.  Maybe she was so drunk she messed it up, cuz she seemed really into me.  Eff.  That sucks.  

In my mind I can hear myself saying, "Anthony, you can choose your emotions, there’s no reason to choose to feel shitty about some random girl flaking out on you."

I also concentrated on ignoring all that noise in my head and thinking in the moment.  The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle taught me this (nuttily good book by the way).  I then looked at the name of the girl I texted, and her name was Tyler.

Wait a second, that sounds kinda like a dudes name too.  Then I realize that Tyler is one of my friends from Seaside, that chicks name wasn’t Tyler at all.  I looked at my phone and saw the girls number sitting nicely in my phone book.  I am a retard.

In a drunken haze I stupidly texted the wrong person.  I instantly felt better.

Okay stop.  What the fuck?  How lame is that?  All I am doing is lying in bed, when I normally should be feeling peaceful bliss.  My bed is so comfy, my Dad bought me a badass bed.  But this morning was different, I was lying in bed feeling a bad emotion.  That realistically shouldn’t make sense… unless I was physically sick.

How can I be lying in bed comfortably with a peaceful serenity and have a bad emotion?  Think about that.

Why?  Because I was reliving a false moment in my head.  Why is it false?  Because the only moment is NOW.  To this current moment, last night never happened.  5 Seconds ago never happened.  That’s because this current moment is happening all the time.  Todo la dia.  Todos las dias.  Instead of thinking about it in terms of your life being a movie that is playing constantly, think of it as one realllllllly long moment.  Where time is stopped, because there is no such thing as time, just a psychological thing we made up in our heads in order to organize life better.

Remember in Saved By The Bell when Zach would go, "Time out!" and everyone but him would freeze?  Time stopped for him.  Think of THAT as how life truly is.  Time stopped.  There is no time.  Just one frozen moment.  Time doesn’t pass.  

A very peaceful thought, yes?  It is for me.  I don’t feel rushed, I don’t feel like my life is constantly passing by.  There is no longer worry for me because the future is an illusion, the future will never happen because the only moment is the NOW.  

Worry is an emotion you get from thinking about something that might not go as planned for you in the future.  "What if what I want to happen doesn’t happen?"  It is an immobilizing emotion that stops you from thinking freely and confidently in the present moment.

Guilt is the same thing, except for its realm lives in the psychological past.  "Why did this happen when I didn’t want it to?"

You can’t change something that already happened, because you’re living in the now.  You can’t control the future, because there is no future.  These are two 100% without a doubt USELESS emotions.  They are unnecessary in your life and in fact deter from your happiness.

Rid them of your life.  Right now.  Anytime you feel yourself slipping into worrying or feeling guilty, stop and think, 

"Fuck that emotion, it is useless and it only deters from my happiness."

Then start thinking about your current moment, and realize how great living is without those two erroneous zones.  Thanks Wayne Dyer.

Getting back to the story.  I ended up texting her and now we’re talking.  Where does this feeling come from?

I feel it comes from when we were kids.  When I was a kid, my parents main focus was keeping me happy.  So I always was.  But those times where I did not get what I wanted, I flipped.  I felt horrible.  I remember this one time kicking and screaming to my Dad on the floor because he wouldn’t let me go on vacation to Costa Rica with my friend and his family.  I was 12.  He was not ready to let his son go to another country, a country that is not the safest in the world, just so he can be feel cool cuz he was making a friend.

This may not have been what your childhood was like, but children are always comforted when they feel bad.  I should know, I work with kids.  Anytime a child cries, they are comforted with an external thing.  Maybe an ice pack, maybe the love of a mother.  Whatever it is, we are not taught to have comfort in ourselves after something bad happens to us when we’re kids.

Now that we’re all growns up, we’re just expected to be mature and feel fine when shit happens.  If a girl doesn’t give me the right number, I feel crappy, I want what I can’t have.  If I’m told that I suck at life and nobody likes me, what do I do?  Hold a feeling of NEED to be comforted.  Somebody needs to make me feel good.

Do you now realize where this comes from?  Now when I’m in class with kids and one of them starts CRYING because there are no more blue balls left for him to play with, he has to have green, I no longer give him a hug and try to find a blue ball for him.

Instead I say, "That’s how it goes.  It’s not fair and you have to deal with it."  Then I walk away from the four year old and continue teaching class.  

Realize that these are socially conditioned emotions, and they are 100% changeable.  Think of your brain as a malleable piece of material rather than a piece of Play-doh.  Play-doh is moldable, but eventually hardens and stays that way forever.  That’s what psychologists used to think.  Years ago.  Now they are realizing that it is ever changing.  We can always do what we want with our brain because it can always change shape.  

You can choose what you feel.  It just takes a bit of training.  Learning anything takes a good bit of training.  Wow, learning to get vibrato in my singing voice took years for me.  I was so frustrated that EVERY singer had this characteristic in their voice except me.  It is a beautiful sound and I did not have it.  WHY?!

Voice teachers couldn’t teach me.  I went to the library and picked up books on singing.  I tried to find the thing that makes the vibrato, the fluctuation of pitch in a voice.  I studied it, I wanted it so bad.  I took me a couple years of training myself to pick up this characteristic.  Now I have vibrato, and I like it a lot.  It makes my voice seem so much more warm and crisp.  And let me tell you, I worked HARD at getting it.  (And no, I did not buy Brett Manning’s magic pill product to get it either.)

I started off with a weird sounding vibrato that happened every now and then.  I ended up stressing my throat too hard (stressing the brain) but eventually it became nicer and nicer.

Liken this to the overly confident chode in the bar.  He doesn’t know what being confident feels like, so he tries too hard and it comes out looking really weird and not right.  Kinda like how it first sounded when I was working on my vibrato.

I want you guys to work on your vibrato (metaphorically, that is) and realize that this stuff doesn’t happen over night.  I don’t wake up one morning going, "Laaaaaaa!!!!"  It is a gradual thing, it takes time.  A good amount of time.  Clock time, not psychological time.  It takes constant reminding, always living who you want to be.

Until next time yo, I love you all.  Smooches.

This is a continuation of the previous post.  If you haven’t read it, read it now… Take a chill pill and go REAL natural…

Body language.  BL.  Bod lang.  Bola.  Cool new term?  "She just got eaten by the bola constrictor."  Maybe.

Anyway, body language is key.  Naturals?  All they really have is body language.  That’s all it is.   They follow the key five that I’ve laid down.

They are sure of what they do as if what they are saying fits the path to what should have been said.  They act and speak in such a way that makes people feel like if they don’t go along with what they say, they are doing something wrong. 

First example, the video above.  Max.  What is his problem?  Oh god, his game is so horrible it’s uncomfortable to watch.  I actually had to turn my head the second time I saw it, YUCK.  He had "not bad" body language, and he seemed confident.  So aside from him being a dick to the girls, what was the problem?

Well, if you watch it and try not to analyze anything, but just get an overall feel for his vibe, you’ll realize that he is incredibly insecure.  His entire game is a facade.  It’s fake.  It’s all ego.  You can tell that he cares what others think of him.  Why?  Well one obvious clue is his OVER ALPHANESS.  What he says is too over the top.  In fact there is no such thing as over alphaness, it is an illusion.  You can tell he is actively trying to show the girls that he is confident.  Any time you are trying to prove something to someone, you are seeking validation.  That automatically puts you in the loser category.

This is a big reason I denounce C/F for guys.  They take something like this and go, "OMG!! I can totally act like I’m above girls and they will like me!"  Duh, this is so retarded.  C/F is what I did in 9th grade.  That being said, teasing a girl is totally fun after you and her have made some type of connection.  But before that, it is just obvious that you are TRYING to look cool.  (I know he may not be using C/F correctly but still it just sucks anyway.)

There is no WARMTH, there is no LIVING IN THE MOMENT, although it seems that he may be unattached and non-validation seeking, it is obvious to anyone non-chodely that he is totally trying to be cool for a girl.

He is not putting his guard down, he is not showing his vulnerabilities, he is not having fun, do you see a smile on his face the entire time?  That’s called being sad.  People that don’t smile are sad people.

Anyway, enough of watching a train wreck happen, I cringe.  Let’s move on to "OMGZ he is so hot!" Josh.

Josh.  I love this guy.  Not only is he dominant, but he somehow is able to tie it in with being very warm about what he does.  Look at how he opened, his hand on the other dude’s back.  It signifies that he is the alpha male.  Look how close he is to them, but is he being rude?  No way, he is being very warm and polite.  Dude leaves.  They go to the bar, and when they get there, you can see his cheery personality coming out.  He is a happy guy, you can tell nothing will rattle him.  He’s positive.  He’s living in the moment.

Next, some dude’s are bumping into him from some fight.  Does he act like, "Woah who’s pushing me???"   Neither does he act like, "Let’s move out of the way."  He’s the mediator.  He’s showing he is the leader of men (thanks Mystery).  He’s slapping fives with another dude.  He’s being a good guy.  

They do the shot, and BOOM, escalation.  Did he ask her, "Are you a good kisser?"  Did he say, "You look like you want to kiss me."  No, he justified himself and went in.  There was no question in his mind that it wouldn’t happen.  It was almost as if the girl would feel like she was doing something wrong if she DIDN’T make out with him right there.  That’s sexual and unattached.  Taking risks like that shows that you don’t care being rejected.  He’s putting himself on the line, he’s unattached to the outcome or the girl.  

Study his bola.

Yes, he is built like a tank and looks like a model, but that’s just the cherry on top.  His game is tight as hell.  All body language.

He covered my five point checklist. 

Let’s zoom into another example of how just being confident through natural game works wonders (plus you don’t have to spend all that time memorizing shit or thinking of things to say… which means you would be  caring about what others think of you). 

ZOOOOOOOOOMMMM…… 

Today at school I was getting lunch with my friend before class.  He convinced me to go with him.  So we sat at my favorite spot, right near the balcony.  Before I sit down, I see a gorgeous girl sitting alone next to my table.

Of course I go over.

Now, my body language is not saying, "Hey mind if I talk to you?"  No, I walk up as if I don’t give a shit.  Before I speak a word, I pick up a poster she has on the table. 

"What’s this?"

Keep in mind, everything I said to her was total crap.  I pick up a poster and ask her what it is.

"A poster."

"What’s in it?"

"New York."

"Where’d you get it?"

"They’re selling them downstairs."

"Cool."

"What’s over there?"  I gesture towards the hall where stands and shit are going on.  Lotsa girls there.

"I don’t know."

"Let’s go check it out." I put out my hand as if I know 100% that she is going to grab it.  Not like some dominant bullshit, just nonchalent as if she is already my girlfriend.  She grabs it, and we start walking to the hall while holding hands.

"Let’s act like we’re really interested."

"Okay."

It ends up being all these sororities on campus, trying to get girls to sign-up.  I bullshit with them for a bit.  Me and the girl bullshit conversation with stuff like, "What’s your name?" "Where are you from?" "What year are you?"

We get back to our tables and I say, "Okay, gimme a hug."  I hug her, then pick her up newlywed style and spin her around.

I say, "I just wanted to see how skinny you are."

WHAT?!  Who says that?  What does that even mean?  Realize guys, my body language is on.  I also just picked her up "just married" style and spun her around like a champ.  Then I go back to my table and talk about her to my friend loud enough so she can hear.

"Look at her, she’s so adorable."  Yadda yadda.

She goes, "It was nice meeting you.  I hope I see you again."

She’s asking me to get her number so I do.  Up close she has gorgeous green eyes.  We make rough plans towards this weekend.  Done.

Okay, that was not anything to go crazy about.  But that’s the point!  What did I do well?  Practically nothing.  But my body language and surety of myself was dead on.  We hardly spoke.  

But what I kept in mind were the 5 keys:

1. Warmth

2. Dominance

3. Sexual

4. Living in the moment

5. Unattached, non-needy, unreactive, non-validation seeking

Your mindset:  "Let’s have fun and see what happens." 

Honestly, when I am in state and approach like this… I don’t have anything going on in my mind aside from that.  Because I am just not caring what anyone thinks.  I only care what I think because I am the only one on this planet that can make me happy.  No one else.  So worrying about what others think is just stupid.  It’s fucking useless and it’s ruining your life.  STOP IT.  No one can make you happy.  At all.  No one, except you.

When someone says something mean to you and you feel shitty about it, that’s not them making you feel bad, that is you CHOOSING to feel bad.  No one makes you do anything, except for you.  You are the chooser if you are happy or not for the rest of your living life.  

Man, just thinking about how much people’s lives are wasted worrying about what others will think of them makes me nauseous.  

Here, I’ll make it simple for you.  

Feeling confident and happy brings about happiness in your life.  No matter which way you look at it, if you are confident and happy, you will end up being successful and happy.  Done deal.  No way around it.  SO JUST CHOOSE TO FEEL THAT WAY.  

Choosing to feel shitty all the time, or nervous around other people, and fearful of how others will judge you will bring UNHAPPINESS, no matter which way you look at it.  I know that when I am feeling shitty, I don’t WANT to come out of it.  It’s almost as if I would rather feel pity for myself than to just be responsible choosing to make myself feel good.  If this is the problem, I have a post coming out soon for that.

Guys, come back to me with a story.  I want you to experiment with this.  This is simple shit.  

I want to stress though.  When I say body language.  I don’t want you overemphasizing this shit.  Don’t make this seem like you are trying.  In fact, don’t try at all.  Just do.  When I say dominance, I don’t mean act tough.  And when I say warm, I don’t mean be over the top nice.  Just normal.  Can you be a normal cool dude that knows how to escalate?  That’s it.  

Master this and you are golden.

For this to happen, you need to be comfortable with having nothing at all to say.  You need to be fine with her totally rejecting you.  The more you worry about what to say, the less you will have to say.  The more you don’t care about saying something, the more you will have to say.  Such zen or something.  

What’s the trick?  How do you become comfortable with being alone and not needing something to say?

The HOW Sessions will be continued.  I realize though I want to spend more time on those posts by researching and testing the methods out.  This stuff to me is the most important.  HOW.  How do I become confident?  How do I stop caring?  How can I learn to love myself?  HOW?  If this turns out to be good, I may end up turning it into a product.  We’ll see.  No one else talks about this in detail as I plan to do.  

Anyway guys, get back to me.  I want to see how this goes.  Questions?  Do you hate me?  Do you have a crush on me?  Leave it in the comments.  I’m interested in seeing some feedback.

Well, here it is.  The book that I love.  This is not a deep book.  It is not a book that will dig into the anals of your brainals with nutty complex psychological theory.  This book is simple, Wayne Dyer wrote it that way.  He states:

“I have tried to avoid intricate explanations, largely because I do not believe that “being happy” is a complex affair.”

He’s right, it’s not. When I read this book, much of the philosophies were things I have already thought of (you have likely heard them before), nevertheless while I read it, my mind began to see clearly.  After each chapter, I had to laugh to myself for how right he is about each erroneous zone in my life.  He made me feel so free in my mind. A feeling of irony came to me with the thought that I have been living with such ridiculous ways of thinking for so long, and that the world sees these ways of life as normal and natural, even though they are ruining people’s lives.

This is the book that everyone in the world should read, not just people interested in improving themselves.Without further adieu, here it is, all 99 MB of it… Your Erroneous Zones by Dr. Wayne Dyer.

Here’s a smaller copy… 22 MB:  Your Erroneous Zones

This is what a girl sees when she first meets you:

Some random guy with no personality, standing in the corner.  There is NO reason she should get to know you.  If you approach and she is totally uninterested, it’s because she sees this.

So what do you think you need to do?  Well obviously, you need to paint a picture of who you are.  Show her everything about you, all your passions, your likes, dislikes, hates, loves, what you think is funny, disgusting, boring, exciting, EVERYTHING.  Don’t just paint it with your words, but in your body language and your tonality.  What is your mood like?  Are you feeling energized?  Low key?  Funny?  Philosophical?  Crazy?  Calm?  The different colors of paint are emotions.  Everyone has the same emotions, but how you mix and match them into that unique painting is what makes up your personality.  She can’t relate to a boring white background.  She needs something she can feel.  When she thinks of you, she can see the picture you painted for her.  She will now see your once boring canvas as something like this:

 Pretty sweet, huh?  I know.  Who wouldn’t want to bang that?

If I was a hot chick, and some random guy approached me, I’d think "Duh, some random guy.  They all look the same.  A blank canvas."  How can you blame her for giving you a hard time at the beginning?  PAINT THAT PICTURE OF YOURSELF!  Get her to do the same and then your paintings can go hookup somewheres.   

P.S. - This is why I wait a few minutes until getting to know someone’s name.  How can I connect a name to a blank canvas?  I’ll never remember it.  But after a few minutes of letting that person paint a picture of him/herself, I now can put a picture to that name.

I was about to make a long, prolific post, but tonight after going to the bar I decided to talk about this instead.  I’ll save the big one for another time.

Almost every guy that I have met in the community has a mindset that getting a girl takes a shitload of value and “game” to win her over.  I feel the same way from time to time.  After all, there is SO much material to read from that talks about it.

 ”Be higher value than her, show her that you are the coolest mofo in the joint.  Let her know she is lower value than you, say things that will blow her away.”

 I understand, it seems that way.  I really frickin’ seems that way.  Looking at those hot girls we think that it takes crazy game to pull shit off.  I understand.

 The funny thing is, the better I get at this, the more I realize that notion is not true.  I also am not saying that you should not be reading a lot of quality material.  I feel you should.  I puts me in a good mindset, and gives me a good idea of what it is to be a charismatic person.

 And coming from me, I can be very high energy at times.  I can sometimes be the person that is flying from person to person hugging random people that I see.  

“Oh Anthony, this is easy for you to preach.  You are really energetic and full of excitement.”

Eh.  Whatever.  That’s because I have ADHD and I get excited.  The truth is, you do NOT have to be some amazing guy in order to get really great girls.  

“Bullshit, this is another one of those, ‘Be yourself,’ posts.”

Yeah, it is.  If you’re not up for reading another one of those, then feel free to stop.  

Without further jibba jabba, I will tell you what I’m getting at.  

What a girl wants, is a normal guy.  Now I’m not saying normal as in not unique, not your own person.  When I say normal I mean that you don’t have to be totally nutty full of amazing things to say, and have amazing stories, and look totally the sweetest shit with your nails painted black and yadda yadda OMGZ.

What is normal, then?

Just confident and social, that’s all.  That’s a loaded statement though.  Let me be more thorough.

Confidence to me is self-content, non-needy, happy with yourself, surety in yourself, non-validation seeking, and non-value taking (amongst other things I can’t think of right now).

Sidenote:  Even saying something so small as “I’m tired,” to a very pretty girl can blow you out.  Why?  Just that sentence alone is a sign of insecurity.  Girls don’t want to talk to someone that is whining about his mood.  I have been blown out of sets and later realized that one little insecure, value taking, validation seeking statement I had said was what ruined the set.  If you are tired (or whatever), you don’t need to say it to her as an excuse for you not being interesting enough, if you are tired she will see that you are tired.  No need to prove yourself to someone.

Social is knowing how to act and talk towards others.  Having good knowledge of conversation and calibration; being warm, dominant, dead honest, and knowing how to connect and escalate.  Knowing how to appreciate others, and caring for others.

Now, I never said this is easy, I just said that is doesn’t take crazy nutty game.

Having confidence is a natural trait, but we all know that it gets all pissed upon throughout years of social conditioning.  So now confidence comes to be a rarity.  Being social is probably easier to get good at, though it is still not something that is easy.  Generally though, when the confidence is covered, usually being social comes along with it.

After that, what should you concentrate on?

Well, after you have internalized all of the things I mentioned above, I want you to now focus on body language with a little check off list that I have devised for myself:

(in no particular order)

1. Warmth

2. Dominance

3. Sexual

4. Being in the moment

5. Unattached, non-needy, unreactive, non-validation seeking

Body language (aside from contorting your torso sideways from the person you are talking to) is one of the least covered aspects of talking to girls, and it is SUCH a big factor in it.  I truly feel that body language and vocal projection are the reasons most guys are having problems with chicks and don’t know why.

As a general guideline, try not to OVER act your alphaness, it is SO lame.  There is nothing in the list that says, “Walk around like you are the SHIZ.”  Anytime you try to prove your worth to people, it is a form of validation seeking, and that shit will turn off girls so much.  I honestly feel that the only way you can demonstrate your high value is when you are not trying to.  For now, use that checklist as a way to cover your body language.  When I am thinking about my body language, I mainly concentrate on being sexual.  

Want to hear something silly?  When I am concentrating on my body language, I usually don’t have to think of anything to say.  The body language just takes over.

What’s left?  Escalating.  Escalating is a natural thing that comes from coupling confidence and social skills.

So my mindset when I am out is, “Body language, escalate.”

What else about body language?  Body language will extinguish the worst of congruence tests.  Now that I focus entirely on body language and escalation, I no longer have to warm people up to me as much.  My body language really does speak stronger than my words.  Why is this so?  When people see me, they see all five of those attributes in my body language, and that special concoction together is like kewlest thing in the world.  Each attribute balances the other ones out.

I say a few words with excellent body language and I am in.  

For escalation, I escalate quicker than most.  This is important.  Most guys don’t get to showing their sexual interest towards a girl until they are on the third date.  I like to show my sexual interest in the first few minutes and go from there.  I know, a lot of guys shy away from that and would rather beat around the bush.  Or they say, “I can escalate with my body language.  I don’t NEED to say it.”  This is true, but NOTHING is more powerful than stating your sexual interest verbally.  I feel this is very important.  Once again, just trust me.

Another sidenote:  This is not to say that you must RUSH an interaction.  An amateur rushes, when a pro takes his time and enjoys every second.  He revels in the beauty of the moment.

Let’s get back into body language and talk about tonality.  This may be obvious to some, but this is extremely important.  Talk SLOW, talk LOUD, and take pauses.  Take your time when you speak.  Fast talking is a sign of approval seeking.  When you speak slow, it shows you don’t care to impress and it shows that you are not scared of her running away.  Go back up to the Ryan Phillipe video and watch his body language and tonality.  Yeah, he acts like a douche in this movie, but check out how he makes out with a chick after talking about his crazy father.  

Imagine reading that script, and thinking, “I have to take this, and somehow make it sexual.”  It’s what Ryan probably spent time thinking about before shooting this scene.

Anyway, my point is that this game is blown out of proportion.  The community makes this out to be harder than it really is, by putting up barriers, and then making rules for how to break them down.

“She is going to try to be higher value than you, so you have to be higher value than her, and to do that you have to say this to make her feel less than you.”

Why do you want a girl that is “less” than you in the first place?  Lame.  An interaction is not a business transaction made by two value traders but rather a time to simply enjoy each other.  

All you need to be with girls is to be normal.  Just have kick ass body language, some great inner game, some great conversational skills, and escalate.

And oh yeah, kino like a mo.

(The HOW Sessions will be continued very soon.) 

I wake up and I read this newsletter article by him. This is what it means by a DOER. This guy is a doer. He epitomizes the opposite of a life chode. I’m not saying to do exactly what he says in here or you are a life chode, I am saying that THIS is an example of busting your ass to get what you want. You want to get good at something? Bust your ass. Don’t be lazy. Jeffy just explained part of the HOW:

Don’t You Know There’s A War On, Anthony?

You go out at LEAST 3 nights a week, and NO MORE than 5 nights a 
week.

You approach 5 girls per night, open, then hang in there and 
escalate in whatever way you can until you get blown out.

After your 5 are done you can do more if you want to, if you’re in 
state or if you’re just feeling keen.

But you ABSOLUTELY have to approach 5 chicks. And yes, a group of 5 
girls still just counts as ONE approach.

You do 5 approaches a night. 

Unless you pull, obviously.

Each approach you play TO THE WIRE. You do not do ‘trial 
approaches.’ You play that shit out until you get blown out.

You do not number close.

Yes, you heard me. You cannot have sex with a phone number, so you 
don’t take them until AFTER you’ve has sex with a girl.

You do not have a wingman.

Yes, you heard me. You tell yourself it’s for backup, but really 90% 
of the time that ‘backup’ is just something for your ego to hide 
behind.

Be merciless with your ego.

Take the pain. 

Take it all.

Don’t bitch, don’t whine, don’t complain. Be a f*cking man. Take it.

You approach scary sets, impossible sets, easy sets and anything 
else that looks like it has a vagina.

You go to Eckhart Tolle’s website.

You buy ALL of his audio products. 

You go to Apple Corporation’s website.

And you buy an iPod.

You put NO MUSIC on your iPod. You listen to Tolle relentlessly. 
Relentlessly.

Whenever you can, you listen to him. You fill your brain with his 
voice. 

You get industrial about this. This is not self-help.

This is self-destruction.

You do this for two months.

Then you take a fortnight off.

Then you do it for two months.

Then you take a fortnight off.

You continue this process. 

If you cannot do this because of your job, quit.

If you cannot do this because of your friends, ditch them.

If you cannot do this because of money concerns, drink water when 
you’re out, go to bars with no cover charge and do it anyway.

Or kill someone and steal their wallet.

If you cannot do it because you are scared, face your fear and face 
it down.

Keep your method SIMPLE and YOURS.

You do not want to be THINKING. Steer clear of ‘tactics’ based game 
as you would steer clear of having sex with a leper. 

You check out RSD’s wiki (http://www.rsdwiki.com) and read the 
instructor’s articles. 

Click this link and read the article it links to. 

http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=11273

If you are looking for a product to buy, buy an RSD product. They 
are all awesome and all of them will help you massively.

If you can afford a bootcamp, take one. Full details on it are
available at:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/n/bootcamps.asp

If not, just go out and punch through that fucking wall with your 
bare fists.

Success is nothing more than pressure over time, so be relentless.

Never accept your excuses.

Push yourself way, WAY beyond your pain threshold.

Be savage with your training, and you will see extreme improvement.

And remember - if you give up on this you are resigning yourself to 
a life of mediocrity.

Which, to any right thinking man, is way, way worse than death.

Now get up.

Get up now. 

Turn your fucking computer off and get up.

Get on your feet. Get out that door.

Whatever time of day or night it is, you get up. Now.

*hands you a rifle*

Get on your feet, soldier.

Don’t you know there’s a war on?

Sincerely, 

Jeffy, Executive Coach
REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS

More posts written by me will be coming in the near future.

Okay, since natural game is like boomin’ up hard like a Saint Bernard and other outdated forms of game are leaving town with a frown, the talk of state is coming up everywhere. I love this, it’s the same way I feel about the indie music scene, it tastes good to hear all this good new music poppin up from the depths of the earth and even though the bad music is still popular, this indie buzz is gaining some hardcore fan base.

State. How is state determined? Jeffy put it well when he said state is HAPPINESS. I like that. It’s when I don’t have a care in the world. No worries, just living in the moment and appreciating every little aspect of my surroundings and loving myself. Have you felt this way before? I’d like to think you have, after all… you ARE human.

Before we learn HOW to always be in state, we must first know WHAT and WHY of being out of state. WHAT are your problems and WHY are they messing up your life? Okay, well first off, the way I see it, state is the absence of two things: laziness and insecurity (guilt and worry). Yes, things like approach anxiety and all that stuff is not just because of fear and insecurity, but because you are just plain lazy as well. Lazy? But wait a minute, You’re not lazy! You go to the bar every weekend, and you read all this material, and you see a psychologist, and you go to the hypnotist, and that means that you are doing everything you can. Nut uh, just going through the motions of improvement does not mean that you are actually trying. Chances are you are being a total life chode.

Life chode.

A life chode is a dude that does the least amount of work in his life and always takes the easy road, you life chode. He downloads gigs upon gigs of PUA material and never uses it, because that’s easier. He wants change, but he doesn’t want to have to WORK to get it. When I mean work, I don’t mean going to the bar on the weekends and standing at the side the entire time saying, “I have approach anxiety.” Neither do I mean getting the money to take a workshop and hope that others can change you. Or going to a psychologist and hoping that he can change you. I mean work as in saying, “I will do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING possible in order to be happy in my life. I will go to the furthest lengths of the earth. No one in this world can change me, only I can change myself.” This is what I mean by work. This is what I mean by the absence of laziness. Absence of laziness also means being responsible for how you feel. Life chodes blame their shitty life on everything and everyone except themselves.

“My parents brought me up to be an introvert. I am just a naturally quiet guy!”

Bulllllllllllshit. Listen, you are quiet because you feel uncomfortable getting in people’s way. You think it’s rude to talk loudly and be outgoing because you might offend someone. That is insecurity, caring about what others think. Worry. You have chosen to be all of these things throughout your life. And guess what mama? You are 100% able to change that. Your personality is whatever you want it to be.

“He pissed me off.”
Translation: “I chose to feel angry about the movements and audible sounds that this person was making.”

“Being around a lot of people makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable. I prefer a small get together.”
Translation: “I choose to feel awkward and uncomfortable when I am around a lot of people. The more people, the more chances that someone will not like me.”

You see? Nobody makes you feel like ANYTHING. Ever. You do it all to yourself. If it wasn’t this way, then you should send others to your therapy sessions, not yourself. After all, they are the ones making you feel uncomfortable, why don’t they get the therapy? You are responsible for everything in your life, no matter what. Once you realize this, you are at the first step for change.

I used to be a life chode myself. Lazy as fuck, not taking responsibility for my life. Going to school, but just sitting through class and hoping I could get by keeping a desk seat warm. Going to the bar all the time, but not approaching anyone, and if I did approach, I would eject myself after a minute cuz whatever. I used to wallow in my unhappiness, insecurity, and depression; because it was EASIER to get others to feel pity for me rather than busting my ass working to get better. It was easier to say, “This is who I am, it’s how I’ve always been.” I eventually realized that I am wasting my life being lazy and not doing hard work to improve.

In order to make yourself a confident person, you must put in hard physical and mental work. Sounds fun, eh? Trust me, it is. Rather than work, it feels more like an adventure. It’s the same feeling I get everyday after I come home from the gym, like I did something good. I am the person that is improving myself. What a great feeling.

If you think for a second you can get chicks any other way, then stop reading this post right now, go back to reading your other material that says, “All you have to do is recite the stuff we tell you to say and you’ll get girls!”

Right now go get a piece of blank paper and a Sharpie. Or if you have a printer, open a text document. Go ahead, I’ll wait (life chodes, feel free to skip this step and read on)

…

….

…….

………..

Oh hey! You’re back!

Now on this piece of paper, write, “I will no longer be a lazy ass chode.” Great, you just covered half of why you suck with girls. Promise, scouts honor. Fold up the piece of paper and take it with you where ever you go. Read it to yourself periodically throughout the day. Always remember that you are the person responsible for your happiness. This may be a lot of stuff to take in at once, so I will continue helping you out in learning HOW to change your life in more upcoming posts. Are you pumped? Good.

Smooches,

Anthony

Oh I want to get into state! Oh please help me!!! Oh!! These are things I hear from people all over the world. Me as well.

I spend all of my time studying about how to get into state. Strike that, I spend all of my time studying on the HOW.

Every dating company you see talks about the WHAT, some of them talk about the WHY. Yes, these are two pertinent things in game. The WHAT being the “What do I do/say/think?”; the WHY explains to you why you should be saying or doing or thinking these things.

All fine and dandy. I love the companies that do this, I have indulged myself in the multitude of material that is available, just as you probably have. Yay! All this knowledge!

But what the crap? Why am I not master of the world? I’ll tell you why, you don’t know HOW. This is what I plan to give to you. I’ve been in my little birthdaypony cave hiding the FUCK out. Fucking thinking about the HOW like crazy.

Most places tell you the run of the mill shit. “Just do it,” or, “This is your life! Just go do it!” Let me tell you, that kind of motivation doesn’t work for me. Maybe for other folks who were brought up on not being a lazy fuck. Guess what, I am lazy. I know that a LOT of people have nervousness up the wing wang when near a hot girl. I know I do, right? It happens. But how can you get over this? How can you get to the point where you are doing all the cool things that you know to do? Well my friends, I will be periodically be making posts on this topic, also more podcasts to wet your whistle. They will be citing things I’ve been reading, like books by Wayne Dyer and Daniel Goleman.

I’ll bet your excited, right? Well you should be, cuz mybirthdaypony has a lot in store for ya’ll.

PEACE OUT cubscouts,

Anthony

I am improving my life. I went into hiding for months preparing to make this business into something revolutionary and not just some weekend workshop like every other company has. I want it to be different.

Anyway, I have a book recommendation for you. This book is phenomenal and there is no way I can describe it to you, you just have to read it. It’s called, “Your Erroneous Zones” by Wayne Dyer. If you read one book this year, let “Your Erroneous Zones” be the one. Really changing my life. Funny how a lot of the theories in there I have thought of myself in the past, but my ideas and thoughts do not even compare to Wayne Dyer’s words in this book. No, don’t get the audiobook. It’s abridged and doesn’t come close. Look, I already did half the work for you: Your Erroneous Zones at CheapBooks.com

This is what Wikipedia has to say about the book:

“Your Erroneous Zones is a self-help book written by Wayne Dyer. It is one of the top-selling books of all time, with an estimated 35 million copies sold. The book spent 64 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list through November 13, 1977[1], including a spot at number one on the week of May 8, 1977[2]”

This dude Wayne Dyer is one bad ass mofo. His conviction is like a bomb going off in my mind. Every page is like drinking a glass of chocolate milk. Imagine doing that right now, that’s how reading this book feels like. Let me quote a passage of the book to you:

“The tendency to focus on others can go to the opposite extreme where it surfaces as hero worship. In this case you may find yourself looking to others to determine your values. If so-and-so does it, then I should do it too. Hero worship is a form of self-repudiation. It makes others more important than you, and relates your own fulfillment to something outside of yourself. While there is nothing self-defeating about appreciating others and their accomplishments, it becomes an erroneous zone when you model your own behavior on their standards. All of your heroes are people. They are all human. They do the same things that you do every day. They itch where you itch, they have bad breath in the morning just like you. (The only good hero is a ham and cheese or possibly an eggplant parmigiana.) All are wasteful of your efforts. All the great heroes of your life have taught you nothing. And they are no better than you, in any way. Politicians, actors, athletes, rock-stars, your boss, therapist, teacher, spouse, or whoever, are just skillful at what they do–nothing more. And if you make them your heroes and elevate them to positions above yourself, then you are into that external bag of giving others the responsibility for your good feelings.”

I don’t only apply this to my heroes, I apply this to any person that I feel has higher value than me. Ever since reading that my entire mindset has shifted. Trust me, do your life a favor and buy this book. One of the best books I have ever read, something I will read over and over throughout my life. Better than any PUA material I have ever read. Let me know what you think of this book in the comments, I’m interested to see how it has affected you in positive ways.

P.S. - E-mail me any questions you have about ANYTHING. I will answer them in my next podcast. No questions? No podcast. You are the person that will make this next podcast come true. Have a prob bob? Let me know about it.

I am now giving phone coaching, it is going to be great.

$50 for one hour.
$150 for four hours.

Beat that.

Hey lovers and daughters. I just did another podcast with some gems in there. Also just talking more about becoming unattached and content with yourself. Self validated.Plus, the “get in state” technique that abolishes all other “get in state” techniques. This is gonna be fun, and kick your butt at the same time.Prepare yourselves…. Enter your e-mail above for the podcast feed.

Okay, here is the first podcast that I am publishing for the mailing list recipients. Just to give you a taste of stuff I’ll be talking about. I kinda did this one on a whim, so it’s me blabbing about stuff.

I talk about becoming interested in a girl, value, and being unattached… very briefly.

Enjoy.